Written by Dr. Mike Robinson ~ Guest Writer
Photo of underling retrieved from marvel.fandom.com.
Flunkies, goons, minions, henchmen—these loyal servants and dedicated fanatics give their all for the villains of popular culture. Without them, the baddies simply could not do the evil that they must do. Unfortunately, underlings are, by definition, expendable.
Such disposability offers problems for people in relationships with underlings. Before you get in too deep with such a person, the Nerd Factor offers these tips to detect if you might really be dating an underling.
If your sweetie has an astonishingly high number of outfits of the exact same color and style, then you might really be dating an underling.
If your suitor has no clue what kind of present to buy you but always seems to know the perfect gift for Mister Freeze or the Riddler, then you might really be dating an underling.
If your love comes home from work covered in an inordinate amount of webbing, batarang bruises, or energy burns, then you might really be dating an underling.
If your beloved mutters a lot about “getting them next time,” then you might really be dating an underling.
If your dearest insists on taking you to the best lairs in town, then you might really be dating an underling.
If your partner lists “death trap maintenance” as the top skill on their resume, then you might really be dating an underling.
If your sweetie’s friends all refer to each other by numbers instead of names, then you might really be dating an underling.
If your baby always has to leave the phone on “just in case Doctor Octopus calls,” then you might really be dating an underling.
If your truest spends a lot of time pouring care and attention into a classic vehicle, then you have someone in your life with a hobby that at least keeps them at home. If that vehicle is a 1983 Cobra HISS (High Speed Sentry) tank, then you might really be dating an underling.
If your paramour knows all the places in town to get great discounts on death rays and jetpacks, then you might really be dating an underling.
If your bae greets their work friends with a hearty shout of “Hail Hydra!”, then you might really be dating an underling.
If your steady keeps name-dropping Goldfinger, Doctor No, or Blofeld in order to impress you, then you might really be dating an underling.
If your sweetheart criticizes Minions for being unrealistic, then you might really be dating an underling.
If your beloved thinks it’s a good idea for a group to attack a protagonist one person at a time instead of as an overwhelming mob, then you are dating a stupid person. And then you might really be dating an underling too.
