Written by Nutsy
Not too long ago (while leisurely sitting on a window still on the Ad. Building…. shucks where I go again…Allah! Great White Father! I mean Hopwood Hall) I was busily nibbling on my mid-morning snack when this blood-curdling stream burst forth out of the clear sky. There went my snack and I almost with it.
“What could that be?” I wondered, “It’s too early for the Varsity Club initiation.”
There’s only one way to find out so I did just that… I looked in the window of the auditorium. To follow is one of the most hilarious accounts of my career.
On the stage was a very pretty girl in a beautiful dress howling something about “Throw me across the room.”
“Oh well,” I thought, “we all have to go sometimes.”
Then Marilyn Monroe or a good impersonation began to mumble “Slap him down again paw.” I’ll have to admit the costume was quite… chic? Before she could finish there was this horrible noise… Uh Oh! Dr. Teller does it again.
Next three fugitives from the hall of horror began to scream bloody murder (while Alice in Wonderland peddled cigarettes.) Just between you and me I thought the whole blame school was nuts. I expected it but not on such a large scale.
Afterwards (while still pondering) I overheard (amid whales of laughter) someone mention the Freshman assembly. I couldn’t believe it! In years past the Freshman assembly was acclaimed as one of the best of the year. Now I’ve seen Freshman come and I’ve seen Freshman go but I’ll be a squirrel’s uncle if there’s ever been one to top this.
How could they torture us so? I’ll bet those poor kids are ashamed to show their faces. (HAW! HAW!)
Let’s hope they improve as time hobbles by (I don’t see how they could get any worse!) Meanwhile, I have only one thing to say “SOMEBODY GOOFED!”
