Dr. Mike Robinson, LC Communications Prof.~
Supervillains are a deceptive lot, by definition. They plot and scheme in anonymity for as long as they can. Such people are unlikely to be forthcoming in their personal lives. Because the Nerd Factor cares deeply about your emotional well-being, here are some tips for telling if you might really be dating a supervillain:
If your sweetie’s idea of getting dressed up for an evening out involves rocking some thigh-high boots and a cape, then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If the top career goal listed on your beloved’s resume is “to show those fools once and for all who the true genius is,” then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If the person you are seeing is controlling and demanding, you might really be dating a complete jerk. If those commands are backed up by some sort of hypno-ray, then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If James Bond has been trying to seduce you in order to gain information on your significant other, then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If your true love looks deeply into your eyes and says something like “none of the other clones acted this way,” then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If your romantic Valentine’s Day evening date takes place on an abandoned oil rig, in an ancient mountain top castle, or at a base deep in the bowels of an extinct volcano, then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If you discover that the FBI or the CIA has a dossier on your lover, then you might really be dating a supervillain. If you discover that SHIELD has a dossier, then you are definitely dating a supervillain.
If your bae seems to hang out with an inordinately high number of ninjas, then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If the object of your devotion insists on taking a white Persian cat to important business meetings, then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If your name is, or just even sounds like, “Harley Quinn,” then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If your sweetheart just can’t seem to leave the room without throwing down a smoke bomb first, then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If your boo’s fish tank is exclusively inhabited by piranhas, then you might really be dating a supervillain. If the only exit out of his or her office is a thin bridge over that tank, then you are definitely dating a supervillain.
If your love is on a first name basis with all the best demons, then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If your Valentine didn’t answer the phone because he or she was too busy recalibrating the defensive lasers, then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If whenever the weather forecaster calls for hail, your love compulsively shouts out “Hydra!” then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If your sweetie’s idea of a fun night out is modifying your genetic code, then you might really be dating a supervillain.
If you find that your relationship is problematic because someone always comes between you and your significant other, then you might really be dating a supervillain. If that person is Batman and he is literally standing between the two of you, then you are definitely dating a supervillain.