Written by Dr. Mike Robinson ~ Guest Writer
Image of Nerd Factor picturing holiday art made by Alyssa Wilson.
When I learned that we were writing a holiday issue this week, I thought it might be fun to go back and look at some of the Nerd Factor columns of the past. Christmas has been a popular topic in the series since I launched the Nerd Factor way back in the fall of 2007. When I rediscovered this article from December 2, 2010, I realized I pretty much still believed it—
The holiday season is upon us. We can come to know each other by sharing our sense of those times. In that spirit of understanding, the Nerd Factor presents “This Christmas Holiday Stuff I Believe”:
I believe that yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
I believe that Die Hard is the best Christmas movie ever made. Batman Returns comes in second.
I believe that while “roast beast” does seem strangely appetizing, “who hash” sounds a bit too much like something Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend experimented with for me to feel comfortable having it in a meal.
I believe that everyone is dancing merrily in the new old-fashioned way.
I believe that the train with some square wheels on its caboose is the saddest, yet noblest of the Misfit Toys. The engine could just detach that dysfunctional part, but instead it carries on.
I believe that cats and ornaments are a dangerous combination.
I believe there’s something existentially disturbing in the premise of Frosty the Snowman. Try this at home. Put a hat on your best friend. Now every time the hat gets knocked off or removed, your friend essentially dies. Oh, and when the hat is on, your friend has to worry about melting to death. Yeah, that’s some magic in that old felt hat you found huh?
I believe that the Peanuts Gang is the best holiday dance crew.
I believe that an only child’s Christmas is the best Christmas.
I believe that Life Day is a confusing holiday. The day is so solemn it’s the only time Wookies wear clothes. Yet Carrie Fisher’s Princess Leia was clearly out partying way too much the night before in the Star Wars Holiday Special.
I believe that the best sleds have metal rails.
I believe that John Byrne was right when he suggested that Santa has the kind of powers that would make him the world’s greatest detective.
I believe that flying reindeer are strangely discriminatory about other mutations among their kind.
I believe that while redemption is sweet, the Grinch was much more fun before his heart grew three sizes.
I believe that decorations shouldn’t be up in the mall before the kids have had a chance to trick-or-treat there.
I believe that while Santa Claus did indeed conquer the Martians, those particular Martians weren’t too formidable. Send the jolly old elf up against some old-school tripod war machines and see what happens.
I believe that my holiday doesn’t have to be your holiday.
I believe that while both of them are tiresome and selfish, if forced to choose I would side with Cold Miser rather than Heat Miser.
I believe that there’s nothing quite as cute as a kid hedging his or her bet about the existence of Santa as the big day approaches.
I believe that you’ll shoot your eye out kid.
I believe that there’s some kind of clatter on my lawn. I’d better spring from my bed and see what is the matter.
