You Might Really Be Dating a Superspy

Photo retrieved from http://www.007museum.com/.

Dr. Mike Robinson ~ UL Communication Studies Professor

     Trust is an important thing in any relationship. However, some careers require some partners to be less than straightforward about their professional lives. Because the Nerd Factor cares deeply about your emotional well-being, here are some tips for telling if you might really be dating a superspy:

     If your true love seems to have an inordinately high number of tuxedos in their closet, then you might really be dating a superspy. 

     If your significant other has a lot of tape players, then they might just be into vintage audio or high-fidelity music. If a lot of those tape players self-destruct after a few minutes of playing, then you might really be dating a superspy.

     If your sweetheart refers to all of their friends from work by a single initial, then you might really be dating a superspy. 

     If your guy or gal knows what the acronyms mean for every government agency, then you might really be dating a superspy. 

     If your boo keeps checking for sharks when you go swimming, particularly in pools, then you might really be dating a superspy. 

     If your babe repeats their last name a lot, then you might really be dating a superspy.

     If your crush has trust issues, then you might be dating someone with some difficult relationships in their past. If those trust issues involve having you followed with high resolution orbital satellites, then you might really be dating a superspy.

     If your sweetie wants all their drinks shaken, then you might really be dating a superspy.

     If your bae has a lot of stories about hanging onto the outsides of planes or helicopters, then you might really be dating a superspy.

     If your love is really into geology, then you are dating someone with natural curiosity or scientific interests. But if your love classifies volcanoes as active, inactive, or potential secret lairs, then you might really be dating a superspy.

     If your partner takes you out for a night of gambling but only plays baccarat, then you might really be dating a superspy. Seriously, who ever plays baccarat? 

     If the person you love gets into a lot of fights, be careful because they might have anger management issues. If the opponents in those fights seem to have a lot of dangerous prosthetic devices or dental implants, then you might really be dating a superspy.

     If your boyfriend or girlfriend does not watch The Crown but still seems to know an awful lot about what the Queen wants, then you might really be dating a superspy.

     If your intimate moments together are frequently interrupted by poisonous spiders or snakes being put into your bed, then you might really be dating a superspy. 

     If your beloved will not let you touch their car, then you might be dating one of those car people. If your beloved does this to keep you from accidentally activating the car’s machine guns or the ejector seat, then you might really be dating a superspy.

Leave a Reply