By Dr. Michael Robinson | Communications Studies Professor
Marvel Supervillains. Photo retrieved from Marvel.com
I have spent a lot of time this year thinking about MCU supervillains. As we enter the holiday season, I wonder if the right gift or holiday experience could add a bit of hope and kindness to their dark hearts.
Take Loki, for example. I suspect Loki’s attitude towards Christmas is a bit mixed. Stories appeal to this mischievous deity. However, since gift-giver Santa is a kind of mythological avatar of Odin, Loki’s father issues might make him a bit rebellious on the holiday. Still, Loki would probably enjoy something that flatters his own ego or that makes Thor look dumb by comparison. Perhaps a lovely statue of Loki would do.
I don’t know what one should get for a glowering sourpuss like Thanos. But whatever the choice, Thanos will only like half of it.
For Ultron, the answer is simple– a subscription to Disney+. This machine intelligence needs to let go of its Pinnocchio obsession and start watching WALL-E instead.
Hela needs a knife-sharpening set from somewhere expensive, like Hammacher Schlemmer.
As a time traveller, Kang can access any toy or gift from any point in history. In fact, he probably already has. This is one villain who really needs a new experience, not a new toy. A Christmas Carol- thing, where Kang can be his own ghost of Christmas future and then warn himself about doing stupid things in that future. Not that he’d listen. Or maybe he already did? It’s hard to tell what’s going on with that guy.
Kingpin would tell you that he wants something tangible, like fine art, a new suit, or a well-prepared meal at a nice restaurant. But really, doesn’t Kingpin just need a hug and a home-cooked meal?
Speaking of holiday food, Galactus could use a lovely planet to eat. Is there an intergalactic equivalent to those Holly Farms or Harry & David gifts where there’s just a whole bunch of food to sample? That would be a nice gift.
For Doctor Doom, revenge! Revenge upon all the people of the world who thought themselves greater than Victor Von Doom! Especially the fool Reed Richards and the whole accursed quartet! Or, y’know, maybe some metal polish for his mask.
The Red Skull is a Nazi. The only thing he has ever deserved is a solid punch from Captain America. Get him more of those, real soon.
